Talk to the Fist: Why Communication Matters in TRAINING

Spend enough time in any fight gym, and you’ll likely see this scenario play out at some point:

Tina and Louise are sparring at a moderate intensity. Tina accidentally hits Louise harder than she realizes.

Louise matches power and hits Tina hard back.

Tina thinks Louise is being an asshole for no reason, so she hits her harder.

Louise gets angry and hits Tina even harder.

Suddenly, they’re giving each other concussions at noon on a Saturday.

In many combat sports environments, there’s an unspoken rule: if someone hits harder than you’re comfortable with, you either tough it out or hit them back even harder.

There’s a time and place for heavy contact. But if your goal is learning a skill or relieving stress, there’s no reason for repeated brain trauma or unnecessary physical strain. The idea that you must prove yourself by taking or inflicting long-term damage - damage that can reduce cognitive function later in life - is both outdated and unnecessary.

Imagine a craftsman using a hammer for every task instead of choosing the right tool. Combat sports are no different. Intensity should match the purpose of the exercise and the experience level of the people involved. If you or your training partner aren’t using the right tools for the job, odds are both of you will suffer.

So what’s the alternative?

Let’s revisit that scenario with one small change.

Tina and Louise are sparring at a moderate intensity. Tina accidentally hits Louise harder than she realizes.

Louise says, “Hey Tina, that was a bit heavy. Can we go a little lighter to the head?”

Tina replies, “Oh, my bad. I’ll bring it down.”

Tina adjusts her intensity. They continue the round and get good work in - while still being able to remember their core memories later in life.

No one gets angry. No one gets hurt. No one spends the afternoon wondering if they have a concussion.

All it took was one person speaking up.

It sounds simple, but in a sport that is inherently stressful, emotional regulation and effective communication in the heat of the moment can be challenging. It’s even harder if you train in a gym that doesn’t actively emphasize communication. Like any skill, it requires practice.

If you’re not used to communicating during training, start before the round even begins. Let your partner know what you’re working on. This doesn’t have to just be about intensity. If you’re planning to throw a lot of left kicks, say so. Your partner won’t leave their liver exposed (ouch for them), and you’re less likely to smash your shin into an elbow (ouch for you).

Communication also improves your own training. Saying your focus out loud helps organize your practice and keeps you from trying to work on twenty different things at once.

It’s important to remember: your partner may be responding to how heavily you’re hitting them - even if you don’t realize you’re hitting hard. You can’t feel your own power; you learn to adjust it through feedback. Communication is a two-way street. Let your partner know you’re learning and that you welcome input.

Try incorporating phrases like:

“I’m still figuring out my intensity - will you let me know if I start going too hard, or if you’re comfortable with me picking it up?”

“Hey, it feels like we’re amping up. Was I throwing too heavy?”

This might feel awkward at first, especially if you’re new to training or if communication isn’t part of your gym’s culture. But like everything else in combat sports, it gets easier with practice.

And considering what’s at stake - your training quality and your long-term brain health - it’s a skill worth developing.